I'm Stalking Jake's Totally Unnecessary and Unsuccessful Petition for Jake Gyllenhaal to Create a Twitter Account sign now

Jake Gyllenhaal needs a Twitter account.

He has no (viable) official website, no known social networking profiles, and for the past five years, grossly inadequate impersonators have been imitating him online. Currently, close to 5,000 people are being duped on Twitter by an impostor who puts up pictures of random dogs and claims they're Boo (who, of course, has been gone for three years now...WHERE IS THE RESEARCH).

With Jake's online image being crafted by self-serving opportunists and general morons (this author included amongst the latter), it is in his best interest to have some sort of personal input to deflect that which complete strangers make up about him. A Twitter account would serve this purpose and also allow for him to practice his abbreviation skills.

(And since we all know that's probably not going to happen, updating *anything* online for Jake would suffice, even if it comes from someone associated with Jake and not from Jake himself [because I know we freak him out...and for good reason].)

Sign The Petition

Sign with Facebook
OR

If you already have an account please sign in, otherwise register an account for free then sign the petition filling the fields below.
Email and the password will be your account data, you will be able to sign other petitions after logging in.

Privacy in the search engines? You can use a nickname:

Attention, the email address you supply must be valid in order to validate the signature, otherwise it will be deleted.

I confirm registration and I agree to Usage and Limitations of Services

I confirm that I have read the Privacy Policy

I agree to the Personal Data Processing

Shoutbox

Who signed this petition saw these petitions too:

Sign The Petition

Sign with Facebook
OR

If you already have an account please sign in

Comment

I confirm registration and I agree to Usage and Limitations of Services

I confirm that I have read the Privacy Policy

I agree to the Personal Data Processing

Goal reached !
50 / 50

Latest Signatures

  • 21 December 201550. Kris H
    I support this petition
  • 26 October 201549. Georgie Brewer
    I support this petition
  • 05 July 201548. Karen R
    I support this petition
  • 15 January 201547. Valerie J
    I support this petition
  • 20 February 201446. Mayumintolor Glenn
    I support this petition
  • 25 March 201345. Alexandrea T
    I want Jake has a twitter account..... I love him..... :)
  • 30 December 201244. Alb Rojas
    Yes, please! Do like James Franco does with @JamesFrancoNews, his fans love getting his verified news there!
  • 22 November 201243. Samantha Black
    I support this petition
  • 11 September 201242. Ambervd Cantu
    I support this petition
  • 07 July 201241. Tandia B
    :)
  • 25 May 201240. Laura Yates
    I support this petition
  • 14 November 201139. Anna Trevino
    I support this petition
  • 14 October 201138. Farhana A
    I support this petition
  • 19 September 201137. Heidi Mcintyre
    I support this petition
  • 23 April 201136. Lindy Sanchez
    I support this petition
  • 14 December 201035. Sophie Jimenez
    I support this petition
  • 23 January 201034. Linda Gilbert
    we need Jake Gyllenhaal on twitter for God's sake !
  • 06 December 200933. Jayme Y
    Would love to see the REAL Jake on Twitter... Can't stand imposters.
  • 08 July 200932. Leslie K
    I support this petition
  • 25 August 200831. Rebecca Oliver
    we need u jake..!!♥
  • 15 August 200830. Karolina Austin
    I support this petition
  • 05 August 200829. Sydney Cross
    I support this petition
  • 09 May 200828. Ana T
    I'm tires of the impostors :-/
  • 16 March 200827. Mo Mccoy
    Just don't beg me for charity all the time, k?
  • 11 February 200826. Mira Mcgee
    I support this petition
  • 14 April 200725. Ricardo R
    I support this petition
  • 24 October 200624. Nicole Z
    He really has to say something to his fans himself... damn impersonators!

browse all the signatures

Information

Nina HuangBy:
International PolicyIn:
Petition target:
I/D PR, CAA, Jake Gyllenhaal (if he's game)

Tags

No tags

Share

Invite friends from your address book

Embed Codes

direct link

link for html

link for forum without title

link for forum with title

Widgets