Cleanliness is next to Godliness sign now

We the Undersigned were disgusted and flabbergasted when Shane Woodbury admitted that he didn't brush his teeth daily. After he confirmed this travesty, Adam Ware informed us that he fails to shower more then 2-3 times a week.

Shane, we hereby formally and sincerely ask you to change your ways. We are asking that you brush your teeth for a minimum of 30 seconds daily (two to three minutes would be ideal) and pray you will shower 4-7 times a week.

By achieving these seemingly minimal standards your unbearable blend of gasoline, onions, and body odor will be drastically reduced, if not altogether eliminated.

Shane, we love you. We want to continue to be your friends, so get over the initial sting of this petition and in the words of the great pedophile Michael Jackson, make that change.

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Patsy MoyerBy:
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Shane Woodbury

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